This week in my Business 183 class, the focus was on where we want to be at the end of the road--begin with the end in mind (Stephen Covey). We read some fantastic articles and talks about how we can find our passion and skills. A large part was reading the transcript of a speech given by Randy Pausch at Carnegie Mellon. He'd been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and had, possibly, weeks to live. He shared his childhood dreams and how he'd achieved them. I loved it. I read it on Sunday after church and it was the highlight of my week. We only had to skim it, but I devoured the whole thing. I scribbled in the margins, cried, laughed and pondered. I thought about him and his message all week. There are way too many learned lessons to share, but one I really loved was about playing football. His dream was to play in the NFL. He never accomplished it, but football became a huge part of his life and helped him develop many other skills. And he taught me this:
"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted....we send our kids out to play football or soccer or swimming or whatever it is, and it's the first example of what I'm going to call a head fake, or indirect learning. We actually don't want our kids to learn football. I mean, yeah, it's really nice that I have a wonderful three-point stance and that I know how to do a chop block and all this kind of stuff. But we send our kids out to learn much more important things. Teamwork, sportsmanship, perseverance, etcetera, etcetera. And these kinds of head fake learning are absolutely important. An you should keep your eye out for them because they're everywhere."
And throughout this speech, he introduces us to head fakes. While we thought he was trying to tell us about all the fantastic things he did in his life, how he achieved his dreams, in the end he said,
"So today's talk was about my childhood dreams, enabling the dreams of others, and some lessons learned. But did you figure out the head fake? It's not about how to achieve your dreams. It's about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you."
Watch this man. Watch it here. I'm putting it here so I can watch it anytime I want.
How was Randy Pausch able to achieve so many of his childhood dreams?
He loved life and other people and he was enthusiastic about everything he did. He believed in himself and his talents. And if he didn't have the skills he needed, he worked to get them. He was kind and he made sure he had good people around him. Great lesson there.
Is dreaming important?
Having dreams takes us out of the mundane of our lives and helps us see that something else is possible. We've all had dreams. If we really want something, we'll work hard to develop the tools to get it. My husband is a high school basketball coach. One of his jobs was working in a very low socio-economic area. Our family was the entire booster club. We kept score, ran the snack bar and drove the boys in vans to the games. Every year at Christmas time my husband made sure to take the team to a tournament in a different city, far away from the mundane of their hometown. It was incredible to see their world being opened, even just a little bit, to new dreams. College? A job outside the city limits? Not all of them had the strength or drive to pursue those dreams, but some did. I've always been grateful to have been a part of that awakening.
What about my childhood dream? Are they achievable?
I think back to my childhood dreams and I find myself at a loss. I think that I was the kind of kid who thought I could do anything and so I made my dreams come true as they came. I lived very much in the moment. I could be anything day-to-day...an inventor, an actress, a singer, a fashion designer. I lived in that golden age when your parents didn't worry about you being on the other block or walking a few miles to the store. My parents allowed me to use any materials I wanted to build a tree house or sew a Barbie dress. I read books like crazy and became the characters in those books--I fulfilled my dreams while lying on my bed, reading when I was supposed to be cleaning! I suppose that the one dream I had for a while was to become a nurse, after reading, "Cherry Ames, Student Nurse." I loved the idea of living in a dorm and working in a hospital ward. Of course, I was a little squeamish about blood at that time. I believe, however, that I absolutely could have become a nurse if I'd kept that dream. When Jackson was diagnosed with cancer, I nursed him for a long time, cleaning his wound, administering medication and helping him with his personal care. By the time of his death, I was as well-versed in his medical needs as any professional nurse. I have no doubt that I can do whatever I set my mind to. I have big dreams for the future, and I know I'll get there.
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